What is Representation in Fiction, and Why Is It Important?

I want you to do something very simple; think of your favorite book. Just lean back, close your eyes, and re-live for a few moments the story or stories that hold a place of honor on your bookshelf. Got a clear image of the book? Good. Now take a look at your favorite character. Is he a dashing secret agent, by some chance? Perhaps she's an intrepid police detective who doesn't take anyone's shit?

Whoever your favorite character is, and whatever s/he does, ask yourself how many traits that character shares with you. Do you have the same ethnicity? Religion? Do you come from the same part of the world, or the same kind of family or culture? Do you have the same hair color, sexual orientation (or lack thereof), or ability/disability?

American... that's a start...

Now that we've conducted that little thought experiment, let's do a follow-up. How many times have you read a book (or seen a movie, or watched a TV show) where no one in the cast except a minor character in the background seemed like someone you could identify with? How often have you seen characters whom you feel do you and those like you a disservice because of how they're written? If you answered all the damn time then chances are good you are experiencing a lack of representation in fiction.

What Is Representation?

The easiest way to explain representation is to give examples. For starters you could check out this story about a young boy who falls on the Autism spectrum, and how he fell in love with Drax the Destroyer in Guardians of the Galaxy because they shared a similar way of experiencing language. There's also the story of Anthony Smith, a young deaf boy who often rejected his hearing aid because superheroes didn't wear them until he discovered that Hawkeye was both deaf and wore a hearing aid. There's even this case about how, if you believe Hollywood, the entire continent of Africa is nothing but savage tribes and corrupt warlords in a hostile waste.

That's two examples of positive representation, and one of negative representation.

Why does everyone think we all have terrible grammar and cram cheeseburgers down our throats?

Why It's Important

Representation is important to authors because it's important to readers. I'll give you one more example, and it's about my experience with representation.

For those who don't know me I am in fact a white male. I was born into a middle class and upwardly mobile family, my parents are still together, and I have one brother. From the outside my life up to the point that I wrote this blog entry looks like something you'd see on a 90's sitcom where the dad's a little too stern, the mom is demanding yet fair, the younger brother is constantly trying to tag along on adventures, and the older brother gets involved in all kinds of shenanigans while he comes of age.

And then grows up into this handsome motherfucker.

With that kind of setup you'd think it would be easy to find characters I could identify with, but that wasn't the case. The reason for that was because my dad was in the military, which meant every few years I went to a new school, had to learn a new set of standards, and had to go through the arduous process of trying to make new friends all over again.

Also, I had bright red hair as a kid.

That might not sound like a big deal (particularly to those who often find themselves maligned or made fun of by crass stereotypes in fiction), but to me it was. I loved comic books, monster movies, video games, and every character who had red hair was either a bespectacled caricature or the goofy best friend who bungled his way through the plot (if, that was, a ginger showed up at all). This fact didn't stop me from watching He-Man or reading the Hulk, but I noted the differences and wondered what they said about me.

Then Thundercats came on TV, and that was a game changer for me.

I had always had characters I liked or identified with in minor ways, but they were always heroes I might be some day. Liono, by comparison, was a kid in an adult's body (something I sometimes felt for since I got my growth spurt before everyone else), and he had to deal with being an outsider on a planet he had come to from a home he barely remembered. Beset on all sides by foes, he and the other cat-themed heroes on the show had to dig deep to triumph.

All of that, and he was a leader with a thick, ruby mane. It was the first message that I felt spoke directly to me and said hey kid, you can do this too! Now go out there and be awesome!

That's Really Why Representation is Important

When someone sees him or herself represented in fiction it transforms the experience. Tyrion Lannister is a great character in his own right, but he is also a little person who has to deal with all the challenges, slights, and difficulties that comes with his condition even while he struggles not to let it define who he is. John Constantine (at least in his source material) was a character who happened to be bi-sexual, and while that trait didn't define him it could act as a touchstone for viewers to identify with him (particularly men who are having trouble finding heroes that aren't purely heterosexual).

This book has even been praised for its female lead, if you can believe it.

You're probably noticing that in the examples I keep giving there's a plethora of characters for white males. That observation just goes to prove the point that while there are examples of diversity and representation in fiction, it could be argued that many more are needed to reflect the makeup of the audiences who are actually reading all of this content.

That is the point of the current discussion about representation in fiction.

No one is telling authors that they have to write books about leads from non-Western cultures, who have non-Christian religions, who have non-mainstream sexuality (including asexuality), or characters who have disabilities. No one is going to force authors to change their characters' genders, ethnicities, ways of speech, or even the way they dress. It's been made very clear that the reading public will be happy to consume good stories if the characters are well-constructed, the plot is engaging, and the book leaves them wanting more.

That said, it does bear thinking that in the changing demographics of the world it might be a good idea to have someone save the day who isn't a heterosexual white man. Especially if you really want your book to stand out.

As always, if you want more from the Literary Mercenary then go to my Patreon page and become a patron today! To keep up on my updates either fill in your email address in the box on the right hand side of the screen, or follow me on Facebook or Tumblr.

The Best Alternative to Google Adsense

Before we get started with this week's post, I wanted to let my readers know the Literary Mercenary has its first official shirt paying homage to one of the great rock stars of the written word.

Willy Shakes, telling it like it is.

This design, along with several others, is available in the Literary Mercenary's storefront right here. Tell your family, tell your friends, and let everyone know you don't work for free.

Speaking of not working for free, this week we're discussing Google AdSense and how unreliable it can be for those who want to make a serious living.

What Are You Talking About?

Anyone who's followed this blog for a while knows I have used Google AdSense for many years. I've outlined how the process works, and I've explained to many readers just how they too can enjoy the benefits of Google AdSense to monetize their blogs. Even when Yahoo! Voices shuttered its doors and the journalism market dried up, I knew that Google always had my back.

Or at least I thought it did.

That would be me. Way off in the background. Looking the other way. Minding my own business.

For those of you who want the nitty gritty details, I wrote a blog post about how Google kicked me out of their clubhouse and cut up my Google AdSense access card right here. I'd like to say it was an article about why it happened, but it seems when Google drums you out of the service you are not given a reason why you're being thrown out on your ear.

I told you that so you know, dear readers, that when I tell you there are alternatives to Google AdSense out there you can trust I know what I'm talking about.

The Best Google AdSense Alternative

Whether you couldn't get a Google AdSense account of your own, you had one and were thrown out, or you just don't trust Google and would prefer to use another company to monetize your blog, you've probably noticed there aren't many options out there. Google is one of the biggest companies in the world, and the amount of resources it controls online is intimidating to say the least. So when you go on a pilgrimage as an outcast from Google's lands, you are walking across the wasteland that was once Google's competition.

Here lies Squidoo, last of the line of trueborn content creators.

However, that doesn't mean there's no life after Google. In fact there are several Google AdSense alternatives that are robust, functional, and which will make certain that your blog or website has the capacity to earn you money as long as you keep your traffic up.

Rather than give you a list though, I'll just tell you which one I found to be the best value; Infolinks.

What Is Infolinks?

Seems pretty straightforward, doesn't it? Infolinks puts ads on your website or blog which are geared toward what your viewers want. All you have to do is keep creating good content, and as long as you bring in traffic you can leave the advertising part of things up to Infolinks.

Best of all, you don't have to worry about Google deciding to cut you off for reasons they won't divulge.

Sounds Good To Me!

I thought it might. Though there's a special added bonus as well; even if you have Google AdSense on your page, you can still incorporate Infolinks. So at the end of the day there is really no reason not to go check it out right here.

Just tell them the Literary Mercenary sent you, and don't forget to follow me on Facebook and Tumblr to get all of my latest and greatest.

How to Get Writing Jobs

I'd like to apologize to my regular readers for taking last week off. You see I was busy being kicked into the gutter by Google, and the boot prints haven't quite worn off yet. The full account of what happened (and the rather bloody financial shape it left me in) can be found at this post right here, and I would encourage all readers to please check it out and help out if you can.

Now then, I'd like to talk to you all about the secret to getting writing jobs.

What is a Writing Job?

While the name should be pretty straightforward I'm going to clarify the types of jobs I'm talking about here. I don't mean getting a book published, or starting your own blog. I am not referring to joining a website where you can put up whatever content you want either, since that is essentially you getting up on a platform and trying to gather your own audience. What I am talking about are "traditional" writing jobs; where your employer pays you a fee to create content according to his or her needs.

Rocking it old school.

The advantages to traditional writing jobs are pretty obvious. They provide you a steady source of income, you have something resembling job security (or at least you know how much money a given project is worth), you can put the job on your resume, and you may even manage to get a reference for future jobs out of an employer.

In short you get all of those things that you don't get as someone who's independently employed, for lack of a better term. Not only that, but you can still run your own projects on the side while paying rent.

Step One: Tune Up

Before you even think about looking for a writing job you need to make sure you've taken a whetstone to your craft, and your words are sharp enough to shave with. If you were trying to get a gig as a lead guitarist you wouldn't leave the basement until you could shred your potential employer's face off; being a writer isn't much different.

This is actually how I write most of my editorials.

Once you've got your voice, style, and rhythm down you need to compose a couple of sample pieces. While it's more impressive if these samples have been published (it doesn't matter where, just so long as they've been published by someone), publication isn't always a necessity. You should have at least three completed pieces to hand out as samples, but the bigger a variety you have the better.

Step Two: Kick In The Door

I've had a fair number of writing jobs, both traditional and non. I've written for two college newspapers, two local newspapers, I've contributed to a now-defunct magazine called College Gentleman, run blogs on a steampunk website, been a columnist at Kobold Quarterly, edited stories for Jupiter Gardens Press, and I've contributed content for Paizo publishing's Pathfinder roleplaying game. While those jobs sound like they're all over the board (because they are), I got each and every one of them with the same, tried and true method.

I would like a job, please.

When you get a traditional, non-writing job there's a formula you follow. You fill out an application, submit it to a manager, wait for an interview, and hope you get a call back telling you when to start. When it comes to writing jobs, even "traditional" ones, things tend to be a little faster and a whole lot dirtier. As such the best way for you to get the job you want is to take the initiative, and kick in the door. Most of the time your future employer will be shocked by the splintered wood hanging off the hinges, and impressed by your initiative. If you're asked to submit some samples, then you have a more than fighting chance of getting the job.

This isn't just tough talk either; getting a job as a writer is largely in how you present yourself. If you show up with a ready portfolio, an eye-catching business card, and a firm handshake then prospective employers will mark you as someone to try out. You probably won't receive a contract and a corner office on the spot, but you might get picked up as a stringer for a newspaper, a pinch hitter for a magazine, or you'll be asked to submit a smaller section of a bigger project in a game booklet. Once your employer sees how you respond to pressure, how you work with a team, and how your quality stands up, you can expect to see more work come your way along with a potential for that full time gig and retirement package.

Just remember that you want to seem enthusiastic, sincere, and qualified. If you're sending an email then be sure you've read it a dozen times, and that you've made it very clear what you want and why you should be given a chance. If you're showing up to an event like a job fair, a convention, etc. then you want to make sure you've got copies of your resume, plenty of business cards, and that you've practiced how to pitch yourself without sounding like you're pitching yourself. In short you want to sell your future boss on the idea that you will be a valuable asset to have on speed dial.

Step Three: Repeat

I'd like to say there's a big secret to getting steady work as a writer, because if I could I'd have a best selling book on the market and I'd never have to work again. Sadly being a writer is a lot like being a sculptor or a painter; some of us land cushy jobs where we can skate by with plenty of time and effort for other projects, and most of us end up patching together a collection of odd jobs and pennies to pay rent.

A lot of us do things we aren't exactly proud of.

The difference between the writer who has enough work to pay for insurance, a new car, and the occasional cheese burger on the weekend is not usually a matter of talent or skill, though. It's usually decided by who is willing to get back up and come out swinging in the next round. If one job prospect doesn't work out you thank them for the consideration, and move on to the next company. You go to the next convention, the next job fair, the next publishers' event, and you dive in with a sharp smile and a business card in hand.

Most people think it's the fastest or the strongest fighter who's left standing at the end of the day. More often than not though it's the person who refuses to go down.

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"Zen And The Art of Lazy Writing" or "Why You Should Stop Giving White People Katanas"

Anyone who's read my blog before knows that I tend to talk about things in the writing profession that upset me. I've discussed misogynistic tropes, called out lazy writing in romance novels, and I've addressed reams of things you should never say to an author. This week I'd like to stick with what I'm good at, and point out another piece of bad writing which I think we can all agree has had its 15 minutes of fame and should move along now.

Unless this is what you want your book to be about?

I'm talking of course about the katana.

The Facts

Why am I picking on the most awesome sword history has ever created, you might ask. Is it because I simply haven't heard the good word of Hattori Hanzo? Am I a sword snob who feels that weapons like the Ulfbehrt (find out what that is here) are superior to the creme-de-la-creme of Japanese weapon smithing? Do I have a vendetta against fun?

Yes. Mostly, though, it's because there are too many facts getting in the way for me to be silent any longer.

What facts could get in the way of this blade?

Let's begin at the beginning, shall we? The legend is that a katana, when forged by a master sword smith and placed in the hands of a trained warrior was a terrifying weapon. The steel, folded thousands of times, could cut through armor and bone, leaving a wake of bloody bodies behind a samurai as he decimated the battlefield. Superior to any other blade ever produced anywhere in the world, the katana still stands as a testament to the purity of the culture that created it.

That's all well and good. The problem is that it's one part myth, and one part bed time story according to this article.

Here are the facts. A katana is a curved sword which, in the hands of a truly capable warrior who had trained with one his entire life, was a deadly weapon. The problem is these swords were forged from tamahagane, which was also known by the more common European designation of "pig iron" in the days of yore. This subpar metal was all smiths had to work with, so they folded the iron 7 or 8 times to beat some of the carbon out of it. The result was a sword that would take an edge and do damage if you swung it like a fishing rod (you'll notice that samurai have a limp-wristed style that is the polar opposite of many other fighting styles), but which would shatter into a thousand shards if you swung it with all your might the way you would a broadsword.

None of that applies to a katana made from the high carbon steel that we can produce today, of course. Even cheap steel would have been a miraculous, near magical thing in the days of feudal Japan, and a katana made from high carbon steel will stand up to quite a beating and an awful lot of use.

The Real Problem: Cultural Appropriation

The real issue for writers is not whether or not the katana is or isn't history's greatest weapon. We have access to magic, super science, inhuman heroes and mutated villains. If we say that a sword has a blade forged in a dying star with a pommel hammered from the holy grail itself then no one can contradict us.

If we have this weapon being wielded by someone with blond hair and blue eyes though, sooner or later someone's going to call bullshit.

*ahem*

This is where we get to the meat of the problems with the katana; it's a Japanese weapon, but there are a whole lot of people wielding them in today's fiction who aren't Japanese, who have nothing to do with Japan, and who really have no reason to own one of these weapons much less be able to use one.

We call this cultural appropriation. For those of you unfamiliar with the term it essentially means that one group of people appropriates parts of another, typically less powerful group's culture. If you saw the VMA awards in 2013 then you saw Miley Cyrus twerking despite that dance being part of African American culture for decades. Having your 23-year-old caucasian stripper with blond hair and green eyes cut down vampires with a sword that only belonged to the warrior class of feudal Japan is essentially the same thing.

Your argument made flesh.

Don't Be That Writer

In an age where representation of different ethnicities, genders, and sexualities is becoming more and more important to readers, writers can no longer afford to rely on tropes like the Mighty Whitey to create action heroes. It falls to us to examine our work with a critical eye and to ask why? Why does a warrior for the Christian God who was born in New York and trained by knights from Europe fight with a katana? How would someone without a lifetime of discipline (and we're talking the feudal kind where training started at age 5 or 6) ever wield this weapon effectively?

What's wrong with just making your main character Japanese, and having the hero come from overseas? Or, if you really want to go the whole nine yards, setting your book in Japan!

If you find yourself coming up with a lot of complicated reasons why someone who is not from a certain part of the world, or a certain culture, has a given skill, trait, item, or other plot-important thing, then you need to put on the brakes and take a good, long look at what you're writing. The last thing we need is another white guy showing up with a katana.


As always thanks for stopping in to have a look at The Literary Mercenary. If you want to follow me then here's my Facebook, here's my Tumblr, and you can get updates by email by filling in the box on the right hand side of the screen. If you'd like to support me and my blog then you can stop in to either my tee shirt shop or my Amazon author page where all my books are listed by clicking the links on the right side of the page. If you'd like to leave a tip then click the "Shakespeare Gotta Get Paid, Son," button on the right, or you can stop by my Patreon page and become a patron today!

So You Want to Be A Writer?

I'm going to start of this post by making the assumption that most of you reading these words found your way here because you think you want to be writers. I am here to tell you that unfortunately, most of you don't.

And the Internet howled in outrage.

Now I'm sure there's some of you who are here in an earnest search for information. Maybe you're in high school or college, and you're starting to seriously consider a career as an author of some variety. Or maybe you've completed the hard work of getting your manuscript from your head and onto the page, and now you're looking for the next step.

To all of these people, this blog entry is not for you.

So Who Is It For?

This blog entry is for all of those people who think they want to be writers. For people who will criticize published books despite not working on a manuscript of their own. For those who talk about how "writer's block" stops them from getting the job done, or who make excuses about not having the time to write. This entry is for all those who say "one day," or "I'd like to, but," when they talk about writing. It's for all of those who want talk about how magnificent their mind palaces are going to be to those of us sweating and straining to lay the foundations of very real careers.

Stop. Just stop.

Please

You don't actually want to be writers. You think you do, but you don't. Let me tell you why.

Lost In Translation

In all fairness, this isn't entirely your fault.

Have you noticed how English isn't really good at being specific when it comes to the exact meanings of certain words? You need look no further than the word love to see the problems with English. When you say you love someone, how do you mean it? Are we talking a deep, emotional, spiritual, and sexual connection like you'd have with a life partner? Do you instead mean the kind of platonic love you'd have for a sibling, or the sort of love that can only be found in deep, life-spanning friendships? Do you mean the kind of love you reserve for children, or the kind you keep especially for cupcakes?

I love you too, cupcake.

We experience the same problem as English-speakers when we say the word want. As pointed out in this article by Cracked, two people can use this same word in amazingly different ways. When some people say they want something it's a statement of purpose. For instance, someone might say "I want to get my bachelor's degree in the next four years," and mean that they're signing up for classes, buying textbooks, and burning all of the oil they've got, midnight and otherwise to accomplish this goal. Other people will use the word want as a kind of blanket statement that can be translated as "wouldn't it be nice if...?" These are people who want things like world peace, or to get six pack abs by sitting on the couch, or to someday work in the computer field without getting the training or degrees necessary.

Some people who say they want to be writers fall into the former category. Most fall into the latter.

How Can You Tell?

As I said in this entry right here, there's only one kind of writer; the kind who writes. If you don't write, then you're not a writer, plain and simple. Before you start arguing, check this list of signs against your behavior. Do you:

- Make excuses for why your book isn't being worked on?

- Have no idea how to publish your book once it's done?

- Constantly find other things to do besides write?

- Talk about how great your book is, but never actually put words on the page?

- Trust that the book will take care of itself instead of attending talks, reading articles, and going to conventions that could help you network and find a home for your book?

These are just a few of the signs that your want doesn't have the razor edge it's going to need if you're going to be a writer. If you were serious, if you wanted to write a novel, or a short story, or an anthology, or a textbook, or whatever your project is you would be constantly planning it. You would be checking the guidelines from various publishers to see who would accept your work, and reading up on self publishing to see if it's a viable option. You would be devouring books on technique and voice along with guides to the industry. You would be looking for talks by established writers, and spending a little bit of time every day on your manuscript. Maybe it's a few hundred words, or whatever you can get done in an hour, but you would do it day in, day out, without fail.

Why? Because you want a book with your name on the cover and your picture on the book jacket, that's why.

Change Today. Tomorrow is Too Late

There's nothing to say that you can't turn your blanket statement into a statement of purpose. You could finish reading this entry and then go back through my archive on writing technique, reviewing good and bad tropes, and learning about how to become a better writer. You could seek out guidelines from companies like Tor or Baen Books, and take a gander at what you're going to have to accomplish. You could spend an hour with a notebook and a pen, drawing out your plan for your project. You could even open up a fresh word document and write the first page or two.

But you have to keep going.

Writing a book isn't about pushing one, huge stone down a mountain. It's about pushing a bunch of smaller ones down that incline every day. It's about putting in the effort to create the avalanche until the habit is so thoroughly ingrained that you can't stop. This is what it takes to be a writer. Unfortunately it means you're going to have to find that time somewhere. It might mean sacrificing your TV or video game habit, or watching fewer movies on the weekend. It might mean not going out for drinks after work, or switching to a 1-hour workout instead of a 3-hour bike ride.

If you don't do it though, nothing's ever going to change.

As always thanks for stopping in at The Literary Mercenary. If you'd like to get my updates then follow me on Facebook or Tumblr, or just put your email address into the box on your right hand side. If you want to help out then click the shiny new "Like This" button on your upper right hand side, make a donation by clicking on the "Shakespeare Gotta Get Paid, Son," button on the right, or drop by my Patreon page and become a patron today!

The Disposable Woman: A Trope That Really Needs to Go

Motivation is one of the central parts of a story; if your main character doesn't have any motivation then chances are good you can't really call him a hero. If you're having trouble lighting a fire under your lead's nether regions though, relax, there's a simple way to get it done.

All you have to do is kill a woman who's important to him.

Instructions are on page 24.

A wife, a daughter, a mother (all three if you're time-traveling in Alabama); it doesn't matter who she is as long as she's important to your main character. Her death will act as the springboard for whatever it is your main character needs to do in your story. Maybe that thing is to put on a cape and cowl to prowl the streets at night, maybe it's asking the woman he loves to marry him, or maybe it's throwing his badge out the window to go on a blood-soaked vengeance spree, but whatever it is all you need to do is drill that special lady in your lead's life.

Or is it?

The Disposable Woman

I swear I'll avenge you... you... shit, I knew your name a minute ago...

This trope, appropriately labeled the Disposable Woman (here's the page for it at TV Tropes), is perhaps one of the greatest examples of lazy writing that no one questions. We see it in video games like Final Fantasy VII (it's Vincent Valentine's entire back story), and in comic books like The Punisher and Batman. It's a favorite in action movies like Mel Gibson's Edge of Darkness, and  it's the entire point of the first Deathwish film. The female character in question is not a vibrant, living part of the story that our audience gets to fall in love with. She isn't someone whose death truly affects us. She's typically just a ghostly, haunting reason for whatever is going on; she exists solely as the catalyst for our hero's (and it's always the hero, never the heroine) actions. If we get to see her at all it will be for a brief few flashes until something awful happens to her.

What's The Problem?

To explain what's wrong with this trope I'll give you an example of how it's done right. In Stephen King's novel Bag of Bones we meet up with author Mike Noonan. Mike's life changes dramatically when his wife Jo dies (but she maintains a ghostly presence throughout the book, making her a Lost Lenore rather than a Disposable Woman. In short, we actually see how and why she's important to Mike). Mike goes up to his summer home where he meets and falls in love with a much younger woman named Mattie Devore. This embroils him in her custody battle for her daughter Kyla against her father-in-law. For more than half the book we learn about Mike, Jo, and his new lady love, before a man with a gun shows up and kills Mattie. In a piece of meta-criticism Mike remembers how when he would get stuck writing a story he'd just have a man with a gun come in and kill the woman, something he's horrified by with his lover's blood all over his hands.

That right there is why this trope is such a problem; the shallowness of how it's typically used.

In Bag of Bones we're invested in both of the women that Mike loses. His wife is more than just a convenient reason for him to get out of town, and his new lover's death is something that rocks Mike and the audience to their bones. They're both given depth, and a continued presence in the story. In short the author worked to be dynamic, rather than just relying on a trope crutch to prop up the narrative.

Why Does It Matter?

On a professional level the Disposable Woman is lazy. Just as, if not more lazy, then throwing in a rape scene just to add drama or to spackle over a plot point to your story (more on that here). It's quick shorthand for a motivation that readers have seen a hundred times, and it absolves the writer of doing the hard work of pulling the reader in. For a recent example look at the character of Drax the Destroyer from the film Guardians of the Galaxy. He's a hulking brute who's murdered hundreds of people trying to get to the man who killed his wife and child... but should we feel for him? Is a man (using the term loosely) capable of such wanton brutality someone who was ever a good father? A good husband? Or was he always like this, and the death of his family simply gave him the excuse? We don't know; we're just supposed to take that tragedy at face value and accept that it made Drax who he is now.

Secondly using the Disposable Woman is sending a message to readers. A message that as writers we should really, truly consider before we put it down on paper.

Don't be that guy.

Stories carry messages. If your story is about a modern day knight with a machine gun off to slay the dragon because it kidnapped a princess, then that sends a message. It tells male readers that violence is an acceptable solution to problems, it tells female readers that they shouldn't struggle when taken captive, and it tells dragons they're horribly evil fucks who deserve to be shot.

The problem with the Disposable Woman is that she sends a message to women just as surely as Rapunzel or Sleeping Beauty does. First off, it tells women that the only role they can have to motivate a story is to die, and that's not the way anyone wants to be represented. Secondly it tends to show women that women only have importance when they're connected to men; mothers, grandmothers, sisters, aunts, daughters, and girlfriends. Even if there are other female characters in the story that stigma is going to be sitting over the hero's motivation.

That is not to say that you can't use the Disposable Woman in your story. The next time that setup occurs to you though, ask yourself if that's the only way. Does your FBI agent's wife have to be murdered before he starts playing hardball with the mafia? Instead, why not have her leave him because he's too dedicated to the case? Why not have him driven half-crazy because he keeps seeing men he knows are guilty go free? Why not give him a particular mad-on against the crime that a particular organization is committing and getting away with?

There's always multiple sources of motivation. If you sidestep the neat and easy way to set up a story you're likely to discover more about your characters, and to create a richer story than you might otherwise have written.


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More Things You Should Never Say to An Author

Back when my blog was still getting its sea legs I wrote a post titled Things You Should Never Say To An Author. In my naivete I thought that the seven issues I'd experienced at that point were the major players when it came to awkward conversations authors shared with people outside their professional circles.

I was wrong. So very, very wrong.

And I made Jesus cry.

I was so wrong in fact that this week I've decided to create a follow-up public service announcement for those who want to try and reach out to authors as a whole. Whether you're at a cocktail party, a signing event, or wandering the halls at a convention remember that when opening a conversation there are certain things you should avoid saying so as not to get stabbed in the neck with a half-used Bic.

You Should Write A Book About Me

The only notable thing about your life will be its end if you don't stop talking.

I have personally heard this one a dozen times now, one of which came from a total stranger who was cutting my hair (hence why I didn't say anything at the time). Apparently there is such a strong desire in people to believe that their lives have been so unique, and so special, that there are gads of folks who feel a professional storyteller should dedicate 60,000+ words of text to sharing their stories with the world.

I hate to break it to you, but your life really is not all that interesting.

Every time I've heard this statement it's proceeded by some variation of the phrase, "I've seen some shit." After that they blur together. Abusive relationships, drugs and drinking, unexpected children, a string of horrible jobs, assault and possibly manslaughter, all culminating in a normal, boring, pedestrian life. Unfortunately, that is the story of being an adult. It's an unfortunate truth, but unless someone has gone through a truly unique or amazing experience ("I used to run all the guns on the East Coast for a Colombian cartel," or "I flew to Ghana and waged a guerrilla war against an occupying force of mercenaries to free the local tribes people") we don't care. We might copy an irritating verbal tic you have, or make a reference to someone who shares way too much information just because they wanted to dominate the conversation, but no, we are not going to make you a bestselling star.

That's Really Cool... Here's a Copy of My Book

I'll cherish it always.

We all know that one person who, no matter what you're talking about, tries to make the conversation about themselves. Not only do they refocus attention on themselves, but they do it in a way that Kanye West would have thought was classless and rude. There's a version of those people out there in the form of the writer who ambushes professional authors and shoves their own "work" into that professional's hands.

This happened to me once, and I was confused for the rest of the day. My short story "Relic of the Red Planet" had been selected to appear in the Alliteration Ink anthology Sidekicks (still available right here if you want to take a look), and I'd arranged a signing event at my local library. As any unknown author can tell you book signings, even in small towns, don't really draw huge crowds if no one knows who you are. So I waited in a quiet room to see who would show up, and I got two visitors. The first was a guy who was just curious, and the second was an older woman. She introduced herself, said hello, bought a copy of my book, and then promptly took out another book and shoved it into my hands. Then she scuttled off.

I tried to read the book. It was awful, bordering on the nonsensical. Assembled at Create Space it was very clear the author had no grasp of story, cohesion, character development, or possibly a Euclidian reality. I thought this was a really unique experience, but it apparently happens all the time. As soon as people find out you're an author they immediately want to send you their Lord of the Rings slash fic, or pawn off a copy of a self-published book that's sold two copies to their best friends in Japan but which no one else has ever heard of. You could be self-published, the latest addition to an indie house, or the star at Tor; people will still grab your lapels and talk about their projects as if you somehow owed them your time and give-a-shit.

What's happening here is easy to explain; these individuals want validation from someone they view as "making it," and in some cases they're hoping for that lucky break where we demand that they talk to our agents post-haste. That isn't going to happen. We love to talk books and stories; what we do not like is total strangers coming up to us and insisting that we'll love their stories. If we did that to you it would piss you off royally. All we ask is the same courtesy.

You Should Really Write Young Adult Books

What we picture doing to you when you open this conversation.

I've had this conversation with dozens of people, and while you can switch out the variables the irritation remains the same. Whatever genre it is you're working in people will always suggest you work in a different one. If you write horror they'll suggest you tone it back to write young adult fiction. If you write YA fiction they'll suggest you get in on that smut revolution and write erotica. If you write science fiction they'll tell you to try writing some of that dystopia stuff that's selling so well.

It's not that we're so stubborn we will only ever write one kind of story (in most cases). If you were an industry insider who had numbers to back up which genres were making more money then as authors we might nod and consider your words. What average people who think they have the inside track to fiction don't know is that we have put a lot of time into building a brand. We're catering to a particular fan base, and a total shift in our stories will lead to a cut in our sales. Many times we've spent years working to fit into a given area, and that's what people know us for writing. What well-meaning advice providers are doing is telling us to abandon that effort to try something totally different, based on nothing more than their own opinions. Sometimes it's also based on a short program they caught on the news, but most of the time even that is lacking.

If you wonder why we're not ever-so-grateful for your insight, imagine us coming to where you work and saying, "I know being a manager is rough, but have you considered becoming a secretary? I hear there's a lot of potential in that field."

I've Always Wanted to Write a Book

Sure you have, Buttercup.

This statement gets its own separate category because it's different from the writers who try to give authors their half-finished work. People who make this statement tend to be folks who have never taken a real stab at writing since they were in high school. Some very few of the people who make this statement might have once thought about doing NaNoWriMo, but never did.

Many times people who make this statement are just expressing a day dream; sort of like people who say "I've always wanted to own a Ferrari." It's harmless in and of itself, unless you're saying it to someone who slaved away every waking moment for years and did everything short of committing murder to get said Ferrari in his or her garage. While the owner might nod and smile, the urge to reach out and slap the shit out of the dreamer is going to be a strong one.

Alternatively, people might express this desire as a way to try and show that they admire the author. These people understand at some level that writing a book, editing it, publishing it, and then marketing it is a difficult task. However, it's a much better idea to just say that. Don't confide your secret creativity fetish to us; we do this for a living.

Have You Tried Twitter?

They burn Kingston charcoal in the part of hell reserved for you.

Every author has heard this both from well-meaning friends and know-nothing strangers. All you have to do is speak the magic phrase, "I wish I could sell more books," and the mystical advice-genie comes shooting out of the bottle to grant you the secrets of instant wealth.

Wait... sorry, that's a typo. Either that or I'm rubbing the wrong genies. Or however that works.

Anyway, the point is that everyone seems to think they have the one method you haven't tried when it comes to getting big bucks on book sales. Maybe it's phoning the local newspaper, or posting on Facebook pages, or just starting a Twitter account. Whatever it is the idea is obviously so brilliant they're amazed you haven't thought of it.

Here's a hint folks; we have. Any author worth a roller ball signing pen will have carefully researched different marketing methods. We know which conventions have a good reputation (in our areas at least), and we know which forums allow self promotion. We have checked to see how much banner ads cost, and we've probably laid the ground work for starting an author blog (if we didn't already have one). No matter what idea it is you've had chances are good any author who's been in the game more than a year has already heard it, tried it, and possibly discarded it.

It's not that we aren't open to help; authors love to be given helpful suggestions and opportunities by people. Telling someone you have a friend in the entertainment section of the Times, or offering to hook us up with a cousin of yours who writes a popular book review blog is great. We would gladly accept that kind of help all the live-long day. When someone says "just get on social media site X" like that will turn us into an overnight sensation though it is not in the least helpful.

Before you speak ask the author what they've done to push the book so far. That way you're not going to make a suggestion the author has already grabbed hold of and is milking for all it's worth.

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