Will Self Publishing Work For You? Maybe... If You're Lucky

You can't turn on the TV news or check your social media feed without hearing about one more self publishing success story. Whether it's an author making bank putting out monster porn on Amazon, or a married couple saving their house with their steamy romance novels, it seems like self publishing really is shoulder-checking the big publishing houses out of the way and rendering them irrelevant. Soon publishing will be available to everyone, and sales will be based purely on the merit of the writer's skill!

Keep dreaming Skippy.

Sadly the world in which self publishing is the Rocky Balboa to Random House's Apollo Creed is just a fantasy. Does that mean you can't self publish and become successful? Of course not, because (in case you didn't notice) it seems there's a new joker every week that hits the publishing lottery and makes between $25k and $100k a year in book sales.

That isn't the norm though, and if you're going to get into self publishing there's some things you should know beforehand.

You Have To Do Everything (And I Do Mean Everything)

It should be evident just looking at the term self publishing that you're going to be responsible for every aspect of the process. Lots of authors think they understand what that means, but until you've gone through it you really don't.

Pictured: Everything

I'm not just talking out of my ass here, either. When I was having some trouble getting my stories placed I decided to take three of the better ones in my stable and publish them myself through the Smashwords platform (you can find my Smashwords author profile right here if you're curious). It looks easy; it isn't.

You know going into the process that it's your job to write the story. You have to handle the rear cover blurb, and you have to take care of the cover art (that gets complicated since you're limited to public domain images and royalty-free stock photos, unless you're a talented artist yourself). You know that you have to edit the book, and that it's your job to find beta readers. But you also have to format the book, you have to put it up on the platform, and you have to make sure the page displaying it is accurate and attractive.

There's more though because you're not just the author and publisher. You're also the publicist, which means you need to find ways to promote your book so you can get eyes on it. You have to come up with marketing plans, you have to keep your clicks up on social media, and you have to answer any questions or comments that fans and readers come up with. This is actually what leads into the second thing you should know...

No One Takes You Seriously

Because it's your job to promote yourself and your book you're going to want to talk to media outlets to try and get coverage. You're going to want an author page on LinkedIn and Facebook, and you're going to want an author website and a blog. Once you've set up shop you might set out into the big bad world to tell them about how great your book is. Maybe you go down to the local TV and radio station to see if they need guests. Or you call up your local newspaper and inform them you're an author who just released a new book. No matter what you do to though, chances are you're going to get the door slammed in your face hard enough to break your nose.

This is what you have to do in order to get an interview. From a college paper.

Something not a lot of writers know is there is a marked prejudice against self published authors (and to a lesser degree against those published by small presses). The general consensus is that self-publishing is a field with a few rebel geniuses in it, and a sea of talentless hacks who couldn't get their books past the gatekeepers at real publishers. This isn't an accurate view by any means, but if you regurgitate something often enough it becomes the governing view. As such the news media by and large does not care about your book unless it meets the following criteria:

- Is it a novel?

- Is it a physical book (mainstream media seems to hate ebooks)?

- Can you walk into a store and buy it?

- Are you generating a lot of attention with your book?

This is the catch-22 of being an author. Short of being struck by Internet lightning you aren't going to get famous without a lot of exposure and buzz about your book. One of the main ways to do that is to get coverage from media sources. Mainstream sources, of course, don't want to hear it unless you're already selling books.

Speaking of selling books...

Selling Books Is Damn Near Impossible

The public loves to read, and there are niches for all kinds of tastes and desires out there. Your problem is convincing readers to give your book a try, and most authors really have no idea how hard that actually is.

For example, have you read the samples for anything linked in this blog yet?

People read books based on a lot of factors. One is how popular the book is, the logic being that a hundred thousand people think it's great so maybe I should check it out. Another is a recommendation from a person they trust, like a good friend or a critic whose views they find insightful. Some people might read a book because its cover art is intriguing (and that kind of art takes talent and cash to make), or because it's free.

If all you had to do was write a book, post about it on your Facebook page and kick up your heels, everyone would do this.

As a self published author you have to build an audience, overcome prejudice, and get your book in front of new readers all without the support of mainstream media, or the staff and influence that comes with a traditional publisher. Even if you run a successful social media campaign, acquire some followers, get noticed, and manage to move up the ranks though, there's something else you should be aware of...

It Really Is Like Winning The Lottery

Becoming one of those people you see on the news is possible. Someone has to become the new sensation after all, so it might as well be you, right? After all you've honed your craft, created a compelling story, and you've come up with a unique way to market it to both niche readers as well as those outside of a given genre. You're a shoe in!

Know something? That's what the other several hundred thousand other self published authors are thinking.

Hate to disappoint everyone else, but that's my bulls-eye.

In the year 2012 there were over 391,000 self published books on the market. That's not counting the traditionally published books from all the other companies big and small, which you're still fighting over for attention like the smallest puppy in the litter. Those numbers aren't going down either; if anything they're only getting bigger.

Why? Because everyone thinks they can write, and with self publishing there's no one but sales figures to inform them they're wrong. To make it worse for every terrible indie book someone reads that's another black mark (in that reader's mind) against all indie books. They don't have a company or an editor to blame, so instead they saddle the whole of indie authors with the sins of the few.

Is it possible that your book will be the one chosen by lottery to be read by hundreds of thousands of people? Sure it is! But it's more likely that you're going to sweat buckets and strain your mental back trying to shove yourself through the ranks to get to the front for a few minutes in the sunshine.

Even if you are chosen though, you should really know...

You Need to Move Millions of Copies To Eat

How much would you make at the top of Amazon's bestseller list for a week? Well Patrick Wensick's novel Broken Piano For President spent a week in the #6 spot (partially because of a viral cease-and-desist letter that Jack Daniels sent him), and most authors assume that means Wensick made an absolute boatload of cash. After all he was placed higher than The Hunger Games, Gone Girl, and dozens of other bestselling books for seven days. Surely he's relaxing and writing his next book even if he isn't a millionaire, right?

Well, it seems he made $12,000.

Gangbusters

Now Wensick might not be an ideal example, since he isn't an indie author. However, his case shows you just how hard it can be to make bank. If a viral news story and a week in a top spot on the biggest online marketplace nets you less than a year's worth of minimum wage pay, then what do you need to do to become the next Stephen King or Anne Rice?

Be lucky, for the most part. That, and keep your momentum going.

The Neverending Story

Being a successful author of any sort (indie, traditional, or otherwise) is a lot like being a shark; you swim or you die. Publish or perish. You need to publish more stories, tack another chapter onto your epic series, or offer your audience something new and shiny to devour at least once a year or so. Only once you've built up a library of published work can you experience the backlog effect; when a reader discovers you as an author and then decides to read everything you've written.

This is a key point for all authors, but indie authors in particular. If you only have one book on the market then no matter how much someone loves your work you can only make one sale (perhaps one or two more if that reader gives your book out as gifts). But say you have 10 or 20 books on the market; you're going to notice a spike in your total sales every time one catches a wave and gets a little more popular.

That's how you really cash in.

Are You Up For It?

In closing it's true that self publishing is a viable way to make money. Self published authors have completed books, and they're working hard to find their audiences. However, it isn't the right path for everyone. People who don't want to handle every aspect of a book, or who want a traditional publisher's marketing muscle behind them may find that self publishing feels like more work than it's worth, and they'll be discouraged by all of the hidden work that comes with it. Other authors, who like to be at the helm of their own careers and who aren't afraid to roll up their sleeves and bang on doors till someone listens may find that self publishing is just right for them.

All of that said, there's just one more question. Did you check out Jungle Moon?

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The Mortal Sins of Worldbuilding

Worldbuilding is one of the most unsung skills a storyteller can have. When it's done right the reader won't even notice it, except to remark on how cleverly and naturally everything fits together. When worldbuilding is done poorly though it's a "slam the covers and throw the book at a passing nun" kind of offense.

This practice becomes dangerous at the Vatican.

Generally speaking that's something you want to avoid.

So How Do I Avoid Bad Worldbuilding?

Normally this is where I'd launch into an exhaustive list of tips, tricks, and suggestions for how to make your world stand out among the stacks of other popular fictions on the market. However I already covered some of this in this entry all about building Dystopian futures, and Charlie Jane Anders has created this phenomenal guide to the 7 Deadly Sins of Worldbuilding available at io9.

How can you argue with this sweet graphic?

For those of you who didn't click the second link, you seriously should. However the salient sins you need to avoid when it comes to worldbuilding are:

1. Ignoring Infrastructure: You can't save a world when you don't know who picks up the trash.

2. Not Explaining Current Events: Why is plot happening now? Why not 50 years ago/ahead?

3. One-Dimensional Parodies: No characters, especially ethnically derivative ones, may be flat.

4. Monoliths: No one in a party/ethnicity/country feels the same way about everything. Ever.

5. Simple History: Real history is full of happenstance, unfortunate weather, and bad decisions.

6. Soulless Locale: If you can't touch, taste, and smell this place, it will be flat and boring.

7. Follow the Ripples: If people can read minds, then what does that change about a society?

Could I add more to this list? Absolutely! Does more need to be added? No, not really. Anders hits all the high notes and if you follow the advice given your world is going to be a lot more believable. The problem is that once you've built the stage you still have to come up with an interesting story to have play out on it.

An author's work is never done, is it?

Deals With The Devil: What To Look For In Your Publishing Contract

You've finally done it. You finished your manuscript, sent it off to the publisher, waited week upon nerve-wracking week, and you were rewarded with that one, special email. The one that always seems to begin, "We are pleased to inform you that your story has been selected for publication." Then, flush with your accomplishment, you click the attached contract to print it out and put your name on the dotted line as soon as you possibly can.

Just step into my office, and we'll take care of these last little details...

Hold up.

That contract in your hand might be your meal ticket, but it might also be full of razor blades and piss. So before you take a big, hearty bite out of it you should know just what it is you're signing away when you prick your finger.

Rights

The first thing most authors look for (after how fat their checks are going to be) are the rights they give away. For instance, most publishers ask for "first print rights," which means you are promising they will be the first company to ever publish your work. That's par for the course, but chances are good your contract is asking for more than a single run of your story.

There are all kinds of rights you have to your work. There are foreign rights for when your story is printed overseas, there are film rights in case it's ever made into a movie, there are re-print rights, serial rights, anthology rights, and the list goes on and on. You need to check and see which rights you're giving away to your publisher, and whether or not you're giving away anything permanently.

All righty, this should do it. When do I get my check?

That's right, some companies don't just buy a right to your work; they buy all of them. Period. The end. Game over. If you sign one of those contracts then the company can do whatever they want with your story because you've essentially sold it into slavery. The Anarchist Cookbook is perhaps the most infamous case of this happening, especially since the author has fought for years to get the book taken off the shelves because it contains dangerously inaccurate information. Since he has no rights to the book though, his actions have thus far been largely in vain.

What (And When) Are You Getting Paid?

Whether you're getting a contract for a short story that's part of an anthology or your big, breakout novel, visions of sugarplums are likely doing the can-can in your mind's eye. There's a pre-conceived notion that book contract = big $, and that's hard to shake. Even if you've got experience to the contrary.

For that reason you need to take a long, hard look at what the contract is actually offering you.

I would happily accept this as an advance on a novel.

For starters, let's talk about your advance. An advance is a payment given to the author with the understanding that the book is going to earn more money. So if you're given a $2,000 advance you won't receive any more money until the book has been published, and your cut of the royalties goes over $2,000. If you never sell more than your initial advance, then the advance is all you're going to get.

This is when we get into royalties.

When your work is published you, as the creator, may be awarded royalties (if they're in your contract). A royalty might be 10% of physical sales, and 30% of digital sales, for instance. Sales will be tracked, calculated, and paid out to you as the author on a certain schedule. Some publishers will pay monthly royalties, others will pay quarterly royalties, and still others will only pay annually. Your contract will tell you what percentage you get, and when you'll receive it along with when you'll be entitled to updates on your sales.

What Can Be Changed?

We're all mortal (well, most of us), and we make mistakes. Authors by and large assume there will be spelling mistakes that need correcting, grammar that could be stripped out or re-arranged, and even some adverbs that could be set aside. What we do not expect is our main character's name being changed from Raziel to Jake, the plot-setting fight scene in chapter three being stripped out completely, or the explanation for what the Well of Souls does being deleted.

Depending on your contract though, that could very well happen.

Chapter One: Edited

There's typically a section in your contract regarding what changes an editor can and can't make to your manuscript. A good contract will state that only minor changes can be made without the author's permission, but other contracts may very well state that changes will be made without consulting the author at all. These tend to be paired with the "we now own your entire work" style of rights buying, so if you see one you're likely to see the other.

Just because a company has to consult you on changes doesn't necessarily mean you've got smooth sailing ahead. Creative differences and head-butting with a publisher happens, and you may need to make changes or concede to a company's wants in order to keep your contract; but you won't get a copy of what you thought was Ghosts of The Painted Desert and instead see a cover reading Colored Desert Spirits.

That could be awkward.

Always Read The Fine Print

The devil's in the details, and so are most of the traps in a book contract (even if they aren't expressly meant to be traps). The whole purpose of the contract is to tie you (the talent) to the publisher (the business) so that you can make them money. They want to keep both you and your work tied as closely to them as possible. You're a show pony, and you had better get used to the idea.

Now wave your plumage and sell some copies.

For instance, you need to see if the characters and the world of your story are part of the contract deal, because if they are that could make writing a sequel a bit of a problem. Some publishers want the right of first refusal (no one else can buy your new story unless they've seen it and said no) on any additional works with your published characters or settings. Some publishers will buy that world and only let you publish more stories set in that world with them for a given amount of time.

The fine print is also where details like your recourse in the event the publisher doesn't hold up its end of the contract are kept. It will also explain what happens in the event your book is cancelled from publication (and whether or not you get a "kill fee" as compensation for your time), and what you can and can't say about the book before its release. There will also be details about what promotions, if any, the publisher will do and how your image and words may be used by the company. There will often be a section stating what expenses the company has to recoup before you start accruing royalties as well.

Yes this is all going to make your head hurt. No you can't skip it.

Ask Questions

You're not a lawyer (I'm assuming), so you shouldn't be expected to speak legal-ese. However this is your contract, so if you don't understand something ask to have it explained (with sock puppets and a jingle if necessary). The point is you should never, ever sign something you don't understand because once your name is on that dotted line you're putting your bouncing baby book into the white gloved hands of a publisher who assures you the little one is going to be famous.

It's still a good idea to get a "we aren't going to cut him into little pieces and then not compensate you" assurance in writing. Just to be safe.

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What is Representation in Fiction, and Why Is It Important?

I want you to do something very simple; think of your favorite book. Just lean back, close your eyes, and re-live for a few moments the story or stories that hold a place of honor on your bookshelf. Got a clear image of the book? Good. Now take a look at your favorite character. Is he a dashing secret agent, by some chance? Perhaps she's an intrepid police detective who doesn't take anyone's shit?

Whoever your favorite character is, and whatever s/he does, ask yourself how many traits that character shares with you. Do you have the same ethnicity? Religion? Do you come from the same part of the world, or the same kind of family or culture? Do you have the same hair color, sexual orientation (or lack thereof), or ability/disability?

American... that's a start...

Now that we've conducted that little thought experiment, let's do a follow-up. How many times have you read a book (or seen a movie, or watched a TV show) where no one in the cast except a minor character in the background seemed like someone you could identify with? How often have you seen characters whom you feel do you and those like you a disservice because of how they're written? If you answered all the damn time then chances are good you are experiencing a lack of representation in fiction.

What Is Representation?

The easiest way to explain representation is to give examples. For starters you could check out this story about a young boy who falls on the Autism spectrum, and how he fell in love with Drax the Destroyer in Guardians of the Galaxy because they shared a similar way of experiencing language. There's also the story of Anthony Smith, a young deaf boy who often rejected his hearing aid because superheroes didn't wear them until he discovered that Hawkeye was both deaf and wore a hearing aid. There's even this case about how, if you believe Hollywood, the entire continent of Africa is nothing but savage tribes and corrupt warlords in a hostile waste.

That's two examples of positive representation, and one of negative representation.

Why does everyone think we all have terrible grammar and cram cheeseburgers down our throats?

Why It's Important

Representation is important to authors because it's important to readers. I'll give you one more example, and it's about my experience with representation.

For those who don't know me I am in fact a white male. I was born into a middle class and upwardly mobile family, my parents are still together, and I have one brother. From the outside my life up to the point that I wrote this blog entry looks like something you'd see on a 90's sitcom where the dad's a little too stern, the mom is demanding yet fair, the younger brother is constantly trying to tag along on adventures, and the older brother gets involved in all kinds of shenanigans while he comes of age.

And then grows up into this handsome motherfucker.

With that kind of setup you'd think it would be easy to find characters I could identify with, but that wasn't the case. The reason for that was because my dad was in the military, which meant every few years I went to a new school, had to learn a new set of standards, and had to go through the arduous process of trying to make new friends all over again.

Also, I had bright red hair as a kid.

That might not sound like a big deal (particularly to those who often find themselves maligned or made fun of by crass stereotypes in fiction), but to me it was. I loved comic books, monster movies, video games, and every character who had red hair was either a bespectacled caricature or the goofy best friend who bungled his way through the plot (if, that was, a ginger showed up at all). This fact didn't stop me from watching He-Man or reading the Hulk, but I noted the differences and wondered what they said about me.

Then Thundercats came on TV, and that was a game changer for me.

I had always had characters I liked or identified with in minor ways, but they were always heroes I might be some day. Liono, by comparison, was a kid in an adult's body (something I sometimes felt for since I got my growth spurt before everyone else), and he had to deal with being an outsider on a planet he had come to from a home he barely remembered. Beset on all sides by foes, he and the other cat-themed heroes on the show had to dig deep to triumph.

All of that, and he was a leader with a thick, ruby mane. It was the first message that I felt spoke directly to me and said hey kid, you can do this too! Now go out there and be awesome!

That's Really Why Representation is Important

When someone sees him or herself represented in fiction it transforms the experience. Tyrion Lannister is a great character in his own right, but he is also a little person who has to deal with all the challenges, slights, and difficulties that comes with his condition even while he struggles not to let it define who he is. John Constantine (at least in his source material) was a character who happened to be bi-sexual, and while that trait didn't define him it could act as a touchstone for viewers to identify with him (particularly men who are having trouble finding heroes that aren't purely heterosexual).

This book has even been praised for its female lead, if you can believe it.

You're probably noticing that in the examples I keep giving there's a plethora of characters for white males. That observation just goes to prove the point that while there are examples of diversity and representation in fiction, it could be argued that many more are needed to reflect the makeup of the audiences who are actually reading all of this content.

That is the point of the current discussion about representation in fiction.

No one is telling authors that they have to write books about leads from non-Western cultures, who have non-Christian religions, who have non-mainstream sexuality (including asexuality), or characters who have disabilities. No one is going to force authors to change their characters' genders, ethnicities, ways of speech, or even the way they dress. It's been made very clear that the reading public will be happy to consume good stories if the characters are well-constructed, the plot is engaging, and the book leaves them wanting more.

That said, it does bear thinking that in the changing demographics of the world it might be a good idea to have someone save the day who isn't a heterosexual white man. Especially if you really want your book to stand out.

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The Best Alternative to Google Adsense

Before we get started with this week's post, I wanted to let my readers know the Literary Mercenary has its first official shirt paying homage to one of the great rock stars of the written word.

Willy Shakes, telling it like it is.

This design, along with several others, is available in the Literary Mercenary's storefront right here. Tell your family, tell your friends, and let everyone know you don't work for free.

Speaking of not working for free, this week we're discussing Google AdSense and how unreliable it can be for those who want to make a serious living.

What Are You Talking About?

Anyone who's followed this blog for a while knows I have used Google AdSense for many years. I've outlined how the process works, and I've explained to many readers just how they too can enjoy the benefits of Google AdSense to monetize their blogs. Even when Yahoo! Voices shuttered its doors and the journalism market dried up, I knew that Google always had my back.

Or at least I thought it did.

That would be me. Way off in the background. Looking the other way. Minding my own business.

For those of you who want the nitty gritty details, I wrote a blog post about how Google kicked me out of their clubhouse and cut up my Google AdSense access card right here. I'd like to say it was an article about why it happened, but it seems when Google drums you out of the service you are not given a reason why you're being thrown out on your ear.

I told you that so you know, dear readers, that when I tell you there are alternatives to Google AdSense out there you can trust I know what I'm talking about.

The Best Google AdSense Alternative

Whether you couldn't get a Google AdSense account of your own, you had one and were thrown out, or you just don't trust Google and would prefer to use another company to monetize your blog, you've probably noticed there aren't many options out there. Google is one of the biggest companies in the world, and the amount of resources it controls online is intimidating to say the least. So when you go on a pilgrimage as an outcast from Google's lands, you are walking across the wasteland that was once Google's competition.

Here lies Squidoo, last of the line of trueborn content creators.

However, that doesn't mean there's no life after Google. In fact there are several Google AdSense alternatives that are robust, functional, and which will make certain that your blog or website has the capacity to earn you money as long as you keep your traffic up.

Rather than give you a list though, I'll just tell you which one I found to be the best value; Infolinks.

What Is Infolinks?

Seems pretty straightforward, doesn't it? Infolinks puts ads on your website or blog which are geared toward what your viewers want. All you have to do is keep creating good content, and as long as you bring in traffic you can leave the advertising part of things up to Infolinks.

Best of all, you don't have to worry about Google deciding to cut you off for reasons they won't divulge.

Sounds Good To Me!

I thought it might. Though there's a special added bonus as well; even if you have Google AdSense on your page, you can still incorporate Infolinks. So at the end of the day there is really no reason not to go check it out right here.

Just tell them the Literary Mercenary sent you, and don't forget to follow me on Facebook and Tumblr to get all of my latest and greatest.

How to Get Writing Jobs

I'd like to apologize to my regular readers for taking last week off. You see I was busy being kicked into the gutter by Google, and the boot prints haven't quite worn off yet. The full account of what happened (and the rather bloody financial shape it left me in) can be found at this post right here, and I would encourage all readers to please check it out and help out if you can.

Now then, I'd like to talk to you all about the secret to getting writing jobs.

What is a Writing Job?

While the name should be pretty straightforward I'm going to clarify the types of jobs I'm talking about here. I don't mean getting a book published, or starting your own blog. I am not referring to joining a website where you can put up whatever content you want either, since that is essentially you getting up on a platform and trying to gather your own audience. What I am talking about are "traditional" writing jobs; where your employer pays you a fee to create content according to his or her needs.

Rocking it old school.

The advantages to traditional writing jobs are pretty obvious. They provide you a steady source of income, you have something resembling job security (or at least you know how much money a given project is worth), you can put the job on your resume, and you may even manage to get a reference for future jobs out of an employer.

In short you get all of those things that you don't get as someone who's independently employed, for lack of a better term. Not only that, but you can still run your own projects on the side while paying rent.

Step One: Tune Up

Before you even think about looking for a writing job you need to make sure you've taken a whetstone to your craft, and your words are sharp enough to shave with. If you were trying to get a gig as a lead guitarist you wouldn't leave the basement until you could shred your potential employer's face off; being a writer isn't much different.

This is actually how I write most of my editorials.

Once you've got your voice, style, and rhythm down you need to compose a couple of sample pieces. While it's more impressive if these samples have been published (it doesn't matter where, just so long as they've been published by someone), publication isn't always a necessity. You should have at least three completed pieces to hand out as samples, but the bigger a variety you have the better.

Step Two: Kick In The Door

I've had a fair number of writing jobs, both traditional and non. I've written for two college newspapers, two local newspapers, I've contributed to a now-defunct magazine called College Gentleman, run blogs on a steampunk website, been a columnist at Kobold Quarterly, edited stories for Jupiter Gardens Press, and I've contributed content for Paizo publishing's Pathfinder roleplaying game. While those jobs sound like they're all over the board (because they are), I got each and every one of them with the same, tried and true method.

I would like a job, please.

When you get a traditional, non-writing job there's a formula you follow. You fill out an application, submit it to a manager, wait for an interview, and hope you get a call back telling you when to start. When it comes to writing jobs, even "traditional" ones, things tend to be a little faster and a whole lot dirtier. As such the best way for you to get the job you want is to take the initiative, and kick in the door. Most of the time your future employer will be shocked by the splintered wood hanging off the hinges, and impressed by your initiative. If you're asked to submit some samples, then you have a more than fighting chance of getting the job.

This isn't just tough talk either; getting a job as a writer is largely in how you present yourself. If you show up with a ready portfolio, an eye-catching business card, and a firm handshake then prospective employers will mark you as someone to try out. You probably won't receive a contract and a corner office on the spot, but you might get picked up as a stringer for a newspaper, a pinch hitter for a magazine, or you'll be asked to submit a smaller section of a bigger project in a game booklet. Once your employer sees how you respond to pressure, how you work with a team, and how your quality stands up, you can expect to see more work come your way along with a potential for that full time gig and retirement package.

Just remember that you want to seem enthusiastic, sincere, and qualified. If you're sending an email then be sure you've read it a dozen times, and that you've made it very clear what you want and why you should be given a chance. If you're showing up to an event like a job fair, a convention, etc. then you want to make sure you've got copies of your resume, plenty of business cards, and that you've practiced how to pitch yourself without sounding like you're pitching yourself. In short you want to sell your future boss on the idea that you will be a valuable asset to have on speed dial.

Step Three: Repeat

I'd like to say there's a big secret to getting steady work as a writer, because if I could I'd have a best selling book on the market and I'd never have to work again. Sadly being a writer is a lot like being a sculptor or a painter; some of us land cushy jobs where we can skate by with plenty of time and effort for other projects, and most of us end up patching together a collection of odd jobs and pennies to pay rent.

A lot of us do things we aren't exactly proud of.

The difference between the writer who has enough work to pay for insurance, a new car, and the occasional cheese burger on the weekend is not usually a matter of talent or skill, though. It's usually decided by who is willing to get back up and come out swinging in the next round. If one job prospect doesn't work out you thank them for the consideration, and move on to the next company. You go to the next convention, the next job fair, the next publishers' event, and you dive in with a sharp smile and a business card in hand.

Most people think it's the fastest or the strongest fighter who's left standing at the end of the day. More often than not though it's the person who refuses to go down.

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"Zen And The Art of Lazy Writing" or "Why You Should Stop Giving White People Katanas"

Anyone who's read my blog before knows that I tend to talk about things in the writing profession that upset me. I've discussed misogynistic tropes, called out lazy writing in romance novels, and I've addressed reams of things you should never say to an author. This week I'd like to stick with what I'm good at, and point out another piece of bad writing which I think we can all agree has had its 15 minutes of fame and should move along now.

Unless this is what you want your book to be about?

I'm talking of course about the katana.

The Facts

Why am I picking on the most awesome sword history has ever created, you might ask. Is it because I simply haven't heard the good word of Hattori Hanzo? Am I a sword snob who feels that weapons like the Ulfbehrt (find out what that is here) are superior to the creme-de-la-creme of Japanese weapon smithing? Do I have a vendetta against fun?

Yes. Mostly, though, it's because there are too many facts getting in the way for me to be silent any longer.

What facts could get in the way of this blade?

Let's begin at the beginning, shall we? The legend is that a katana, when forged by a master sword smith and placed in the hands of a trained warrior was a terrifying weapon. The steel, folded thousands of times, could cut through armor and bone, leaving a wake of bloody bodies behind a samurai as he decimated the battlefield. Superior to any other blade ever produced anywhere in the world, the katana still stands as a testament to the purity of the culture that created it.

That's all well and good. The problem is that it's one part myth, and one part bed time story according to this article.

Here are the facts. A katana is a curved sword which, in the hands of a truly capable warrior who had trained with one his entire life, was a deadly weapon. The problem is these swords were forged from tamahagane, which was also known by the more common European designation of "pig iron" in the days of yore. This subpar metal was all smiths had to work with, so they folded the iron 7 or 8 times to beat some of the carbon out of it. The result was a sword that would take an edge and do damage if you swung it like a fishing rod (you'll notice that samurai have a limp-wristed style that is the polar opposite of many other fighting styles), but which would shatter into a thousand shards if you swung it with all your might the way you would a broadsword.

None of that applies to a katana made from the high carbon steel that we can produce today, of course. Even cheap steel would have been a miraculous, near magical thing in the days of feudal Japan, and a katana made from high carbon steel will stand up to quite a beating and an awful lot of use.

The Real Problem: Cultural Appropriation

The real issue for writers is not whether or not the katana is or isn't history's greatest weapon. We have access to magic, super science, inhuman heroes and mutated villains. If we say that a sword has a blade forged in a dying star with a pommel hammered from the holy grail itself then no one can contradict us.

If we have this weapon being wielded by someone with blond hair and blue eyes though, sooner or later someone's going to call bullshit.

*ahem*

This is where we get to the meat of the problems with the katana; it's a Japanese weapon, but there are a whole lot of people wielding them in today's fiction who aren't Japanese, who have nothing to do with Japan, and who really have no reason to own one of these weapons much less be able to use one.

We call this cultural appropriation. For those of you unfamiliar with the term it essentially means that one group of people appropriates parts of another, typically less powerful group's culture. If you saw the VMA awards in 2013 then you saw Miley Cyrus twerking despite that dance being part of African American culture for decades. Having your 23-year-old caucasian stripper with blond hair and green eyes cut down vampires with a sword that only belonged to the warrior class of feudal Japan is essentially the same thing.

Your argument made flesh.

Don't Be That Writer

In an age where representation of different ethnicities, genders, and sexualities is becoming more and more important to readers, writers can no longer afford to rely on tropes like the Mighty Whitey to create action heroes. It falls to us to examine our work with a critical eye and to ask why? Why does a warrior for the Christian God who was born in New York and trained by knights from Europe fight with a katana? How would someone without a lifetime of discipline (and we're talking the feudal kind where training started at age 5 or 6) ever wield this weapon effectively?

What's wrong with just making your main character Japanese, and having the hero come from overseas? Or, if you really want to go the whole nine yards, setting your book in Japan!

If you find yourself coming up with a lot of complicated reasons why someone who is not from a certain part of the world, or a certain culture, has a given skill, trait, item, or other plot-important thing, then you need to put on the brakes and take a good, long look at what you're writing. The last thing we need is another white guy showing up with a katana.


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