The Absurd Played Straight (Talking About My Favored Brand of Unusual Writing)

A lot of folks think that to write a funny story your manuscript needs to be full of jokes. They think of all the double entendres in many of Shakespeare's plays, for example, or of the laugh tracks you find in both audio and TV sitcoms, and believe that's the basis for what makes something funny.

I would offer an alternative to that, which may appeal to those who still want to tell a story that many would find silly on its face, but who don't want to be cracking wise in the text. And it is what I call The Absurd Played Straight.

And as you can see, I have some experience with it.

Before we get into it this week, don't forget to sign up for my weekly newsletter to get all my updates right in your inbox. Also, if you've got a bit of spare cash that you'd like to use to help keep the wheels turning, consider becoming a Patreon patron! To be sure you're following all of my followables, check out my LinkTree!

Lastly, make sure you check out my Vocal archive for several hundred other articles about geek ephemera, weird history, writing, and more!

In a Distant Future, Man's Best Friend Seeks Answers

If you're a regular reader, and you're a fan of my work, then you've probably seen the way I execute this particular style of writing. Whether it's in Marked Territory and Painted Cats, two hardboiled crime novels where the entire cast are made up of NYC street animals like stray dogs, cats, pigeons, and foxes, or you've come across my tabletop RPG Army Men: A Game of Tactical Plastic where you take on the roles of plastic people in a plastic world fighting for their survival, you're already familiar with my take on The Absurd Played Straight.

However, perhaps the best way to explain how this style of humorous writing works is to point at one project that I think did it really, really well... a little game called Pugmire.

Seriously, check it out if you haven't!

Now, for those who have never come across this game before, Pugmire is a sci-fi RPG set in the far, far future. Humanity is long gone, but dogs, cats, and others have evolved (possibly through the help of laboratory experimentation) into bipedal creatures living in a medieval-esque civilization. Bits and pieces of ancient technology have been discovered, referred to as magic, and are used as potent tools. Humanity is a myth that has taken on a god-like position to many of the good dogs, who are adventuring throughout the world in search of treasure, and knowledge of the lost and distant past.

We, as the players, know the truth, but the characters we play do not. However, while this world is very silly from our perspective, the flip side of that coin is that it can still be used to tell very serious stories. Because while we can sit there and laugh at the puns, and the misunderstandings of these adventuring canines, we can still get wrapped up in the drama of their lives. Whether it's the stray who's lost their pack time and time again until they can't get close to anyone, or the adopted young noble trying to prove he truly belongs among the city's purebred elites, or just watching the big, drooly mongrel sacrifice themselves to save their friends from certain doom, it's possible to take a ridiculous set up, and still tug on one's heartstrings with it.

In fact, I'd argue that it's a little easier in some ways. If you have an absurd setup for a story, it lowers the audience's guard somewhat, and makes them even more susceptible to plot twists and impactful moments because they simply aren't expecting those things.

A Final Note on Defying Expectations

Throughout this entry I have referred to The Absurd Played Straight as a type of comedy writing, because that is the typical reaction we have to taking the absurd at face value. If you see a black, undulating horror from the void beyond time rear up out of a summoning circle, and it gets a pat on the head while being referred to affectionately as Icky by the occultist it snuck up on, that is a jarring mismatch between tone and expectation. The result is that, more often than not, we laugh. Juxtaposition like that is funny.

But funny is not all this kind of story has to be.

Like I said above, what may seem fun and silly on the surface (because many absurd concepts are very silly) can often get serious or poignant once you've gotten the audience to dive in with you. To return to my own work, you can tell a gritty, horrors-of-war story rife with trauma and post-traumatic stress using my Army Men RPG, if that's the route you want to go. And, to be clear, the idea of your plastic army men toys breaking down while thinking about the squad mates they've lost on the line is absurd... but it's an absurdity that hits on a tragic truth, and lets you tell a story that might be too real with flesh-and-blood characters in a "normal" war story. Similarly, I've had to tell multiple buyers that Marked Territory is not a children's book, despite the absurd premise. Because when it comes time to throw down, as happens in every good noir mystery, Leo fights like an alley cat... and alley cats leave crushed skulls and spilled guts in their wake. There's not a lot of violence in his books, but when it happens it's nasty, brutal, and visceral, which hits the reader much harder because they're not really expecting it while reading a story about a Maine Coon solving an animal mystery in the heart of New York City.

Support The Literary Mercenary

For folks who just want to do their part to help keep me making more content, please subscribe/follow me in these locations:

- My Facebook

- My LinkTree

- My Weekly Newsletter

- The Azukail Games YouTube Channel (where I contribute video content)

- My Rumble Channel (longer videos that won't show up on YouTube)

And if you happen to have some spare dosh lying around, and you want to be sure my supply doesn't run low, consider become a Patreon patron, or leaving a tip by Buying Me a Ko-Fi!

Like, Follow, and Come Back Again!

That's all for this week's Craft of Writing! For more of my work, check out my Vocal archive, or at My Amazon Author Page where you can find books like my sci-fi dystopian thriller Old Soldiers, the Hardboiled Cat series about a mystery solving Maine Coon in Marked Territory and Painted Cats, my sword and sorcery novel Crier's Knife, or my most recent short story collection The Rejects!

 

And to stay on top of all my latest news and releases, collected once a week, make sure you subscribe to The Literary Mercenary's mailing list. 

If you'd like to help support my work, then consider Buying Me A Ko-Fi, or heading over to The Literary Mercenary's Patreon page! Lastly, to keep up with my latest, follow me on Facebook, Tumblr, Twitter, and now on Pinterest as well!

The Hard-Boiled Cat Returns, Just in Time For The Holidays!

It's been a year and a half since three of my novels went out of print due to the death of my previous publisher Eric Flint's Ring of Fire Press. And while it's been a tough time finding a new ship to get onto in these troubled waters, I finally managed to get onboard with Untreed Reads (or Novus Mundi, depending). However, as with a lot of authors who found themselves and their work adrift with the Ring of Fire sinking, my titles were getting a lot of pushback from Amazon. This was namely because Amazon wouldn't recognize that the books had been republished by someone new, and so they were resisting our attempts to get the titles back into circulation.

My dystopian sci fi thriller Old Soldiers made it back into rotation this summer. However, for those who enjoyed my series about a hard-nosed Maine Coon and the trouble he had to deal with (sometimes figuratively, and sometimes literally), my Hard-Boiled Cat series was having a lot of trouble getting back into print. But just in time for the holidays, both Marked Territory and Painted Cats are available again!

As a warning, these books are not for kids despite the lead being a cat.

Before we get into the nitty gritty this week, don't forget to sign up for my weekly newsletter to get all my updates right in your inbox. Lastly, to be sure you're following all of my followables, check out my LinkTree!

Lastly, don't forget to check out my Vocal archive for additional fiction, articles, explorations of weird history, and more!

Is It Time For a New Chapter in Leo's Saga?

For those who didn't grab these books before they went out of print, let me catch you up to speed. These are a series of hard-boiled, noir-style crime novels set in modern day New York City... the difference is that it focuses on all the street beasts who call this town their home. From the raccoon mafia, to the squabbling gangs of seagulls, to roughhouse packs of stray dogs, and all the mice, rats, and others just trying to make their way in the world, we see a bit of everyone. And our protagonist is Leo, a hulking Maine Coon who lives in a crate out behind a deli. He tries to keep his nose free of other people's troubles, but sooner or later something always sucks him in.

The books have been called the unholy love child between Watership Down and The Maltese Falcon, for those who are looking for a frame of reference. And if you want a break down of the first book, Alice the Author reviewed it a little while back. So check out her take, like the video, and subscribe to her channel while you're at it!

I've had a couple of fans asking me over the past year and change when they were going to get a new story in Leo's saga. Hell, I've had editors from my publisher ask when they're going to get their hands on a new manuscript. And if I'm honest, I've got at least a couple more novels about Leo (and maybe a couple I'd love to write about Trouble as a spin-off series for those who have read Painted Cats), but when Ring of Fire went under, I just couldn't justify spending all that energy writing a new novel. I had bills to pay, and I'd just lost 3 novels (in addition to never receiving my final royalty check for sales I'd made in the period leading up to the company closing), so I really haven't had Leo on my mind much. I've been pumping out TTRPG supplements, writing a variety of scripts and short fiction for folks, and putting together a lot of audio dramas for the Azukail Games YouTube channel, and I haven't so much as thought about a novel in going on 2 years now.

Now that they're back on the market, though, that may change. And I say may, not will, because as with everything else this is going to come down to you, the readers.

When it comes to which projects I take on these days, a lot of my focus on what's practical. Novels take a long time to write, so even if I started on a new book for Leo right now, it likely wouldn't be available until next Christmas. Between now and then I have a lot of bills to pay, and a writing schedule that is jammed absolutely full of deadlines. Now, I love Leo. I love the world I built for him, and I would love to go back to it... but I can't do that if I can't put any distance between myself the bills clawing at my back pockets.

What I'm Going To Do (And How You Can Help)

For those of you who think that sounds like giving up, rest assured, I'm not going to just sit back and wait for the market to flow my way. I have some plans for things going forward, but I'm going to need all of you to help me turn them into a reality.

First and foremost, I'm going to do my best to big up the signal, and tell folks about Leo's triumphant return! I've got two blogs and a lot of social media channels, and I'm going to do my best to put the word out on all of them. In addition to that I'd like to put together some sample audio dramas to give folks a little teaser for the books, and to get potential readers to check the titles out for themselves. Stuff on par with my latest fantasy audio drama below, which appeared on the Azukail Games YouTube channel.

So if that sounds like something you'd be down for, make sure you subscribe to my Rumble channel The Literary Mercenary, as it will probably be appearing there, at the very least!

I'm also intending on reaching out to as many reviewers as I can. While Alice the Author had glowing things to say about Marked Territory, Rissy Reviews also put in her thoughts over on the video Hard-Boiled Detective Cats???, which you should also check out if you need another take on whether this is a book series for you. However, if you're someone who has read either of these novels (or you're planning on getting your copies soon) please remember to leave a rating and review on Amazon, Goodreads, and anywhere else you can... those things mean a lot, and it's really hard to get the algorithm on your side. One has 12 reviews, the other 18, and you need 50 before the wheels of that machine start turning in your favor.

At the end of the day, I don't need a million sales of these books. It would be nice, but I don't need it. Honestly, I just need them to start getting traction again, and to remind people that Leo and his stories are out there, and if they create a demand then I will do my very best to fulfill that demand as long as readers want more of him.

So if you want to see more of Leo's books, please take a moment to raise your voice, boost the signal, and stay tuned for more!

Support The Literary Mercenary

For folks who just want to do their part to help keep me making more content, please subscribe/follow me in these locations:

- My Facebook

- My LinkTree

- My Weekly Newsletter

- The Azukail Games YouTube Channel (where I contribute video content)

- My Rumble Channel (longer videos that won't show up on YouTube)

And if you happen to have some spare dosh lying around, and you want to be sure my supply doesn't run low, consider become a Patreon patron, or leaving a tip by Buying Me a Ko-Fi!

Like, Follow, and Come Back Again!

That's all for this week's Business of Writing! For more of my work, check out my Vocal archive, or at My Amazon Author Page where you can find books like my sci-fi dystopian thriller Old Soldiers, my gangland noir thrillers starring Leo the Maine Coon Marked Territory and Painted Cats, my sword and sorcery novel Crier's Knife, or my most recent short story collection The Rejects!

 

And to stay on top of all my latest news and releases, collected once a week, make sure you subscribe to The Literary Mercenary's mailing list. 

If you'd like to help support my work, then consider Buying Me A Ko-Fi, or heading over to The Literary Mercenary's Patreon page! Lastly, to keep up with my latest, follow me on Facebook, Tumblr, Twitter, and now on Pinterest as well!

Does Your Story Need a Bridge? Probably Not

Think of writing a story as a series of big rocks in the middle of a rushing river. Ideally you'll be able to step from one scene to another, until you get from where you started, to the other side of the river, and then the story will be told in its entirety. However, sometimes you'll find yourself standing on a big rock, and the next one is just too far away for you to reach it. When that happens you might be tempted to backtrack, and to find a different way to get to the other side, or even to give up entirely on this particular narrative.

However, if you close your eyes and just take a sidestep, you may find that you end up right where you want your narrative to be without a lot of extra trouble.

There's more than one path to success.

Before we get into it this week, don't forget to sign up for my weekly newsletter to get all my updates right in your inbox. Also, if you've got a bit of spare cash that you'd like to use to help keep the wheels turning, consider becoming a Patreon patron! To be sure you're following all of my followables, check out my LinkTree!

Lastly, make sure you check out my Vocal archive for several hundred other articles about geek ephemera, weird history, writing, and more!

Bridges and Jump Cuts

If you think of a story like a pearl necklace, the pearls are the major plot points and important scenes. The string that holds them all together are the bridges. However, while some scenes are easy enough to build a bridge between, others are so far apart that any bridge that could connect them is going to feel too big, too clunky, and just too much to get from point A to point B.

However, the magic of books means that you can just end the chapter at one place, and pick right back up somewhere else. Instant teleportation, no bridge required!

Onward, to the next chapter!

Let's say, for example, that you're writing a detective story. Your P.I. just ended up shooting a gangster who was trying to kill him. This is a major, pivotal moment in the case, and it shows that he's getting close to something. Unfortunately, the next scene you have involves your investigator back at his office and talking with a surprise witness who wanted to come clean, feeling that things had gone too far.

And sure, you could have a whole scene where your private eye talks to the cops, gives his side of the story, turns over his gun as evidence, catches a cab home, makes himself dinner, and turns in to bed... but if none of that is important to your narrative, you can end the chapter with the light bleeding out of the enforcer's eyes, and then start the next chapter with your P.I. kicked back in his desk chair, looking over his notes, and trying to put the details of the case together, and thinking about what went down last night.

This is the story equivalent of the old radio drama's classic line, "Meanwhile, back at the ranch..."

Now, I'm not saying that bridge scenes aren't useful, and that you should eliminate all of them entirely. However, the key to a bridge scene is that it needs to feel important to the narrative, and it needs to add to the ongoing story in an organic way. If your party of fantasy adventurers has important discussions while on the trail to their next destination, for example, or we get important character building moments, then that bridge is something you should definitely keep. But if it's just a bunch of text to walk your reader from one location to another, with nothing of consequence happening in between, then it's best to cut that text, and just do the textual equivalent of a jump cut.

Your book, and your readers, will thank you.

Support The Literary Mercenary

For folks who just want to do their part to help keep me making more content, please subscribe/follow me in these locations:

- My Facebook

- My LinkTree

- My Weekly Newsletter

- The Azukail Games YouTube Channel (where I contribute video content)

- My Rumble Channel (longer videos that won't show up on YouTube)

And if you happen to have some spare dosh lying around, and you want to be sure my supply doesn't run low, consider become a Patreon patron, or leaving a tip by Buying Me a Ko-Fi!

Like, Follow, and Come Back Again!

That's all for this week's Craft of Writing! For more of my work, check out my Vocal archive, or at My Amazon Author Page where you can find books like my sci-fi dystopian thriller Old Soldiers, my sword and sorcery novel Crier's Knife, or my most recent short story collection The Rejects!

 

And to stay on top of all my latest news and releases, collected once a week, make sure you subscribe to The Literary Mercenary's mailing list. 

If you'd like to help support my work, then consider Buying Me A Ko-Fi, or heading over to The Literary Mercenary's Patreon page! Lastly, to keep up with my latest, follow me on Facebook, Tumblr, Twitter, and now on Pinterest as well!

"The Harlequin and The Hatchetmen," Returns To Me After a Decade

Every horror author out there has stories they remember fondly. Tales that dug into dark places inside of them, and which came out in a rush of shadows and blood. Some of us are lucky enough that those tales will make their way into print, and in front of the eyes of readers who will remember those stories for years to come, even if they forget the name of the anthology, or even the title.

While my story The Harlequin and The Hatchetmen made its way into an anthology of stories many years ago, it sadly never found much in the way of an audience. After 10 years out on the market, though, it has found its way back to me... the question now is what should I do with this dark little drama?

After all, it's been in the dark long enough.

Before we get into the nitty gritty this week, don't forget to sign up for my weekly newsletter to get all my updates right in your inbox. Lastly, to be sure you're following all of my followables, check out my LinkTree!

Lastly, don't forget to check out my Vocal archive for additional fiction, articles, explorations of weird history, and more!

There Are Several Possibilities...

This story was one of my first horror shorts to be published. A gruesome, gangland splatterpunk story, it deals with a bunch of local enforcers finding the remains of one of their erstwhile colleagues outside a condemned movie theater known as the Bad Place. Despite the rumors and spook stories all about the things that go on in there, and the whispers about what might lurk in the musty shadows, the crew goes in with gats in hand to find out just what it is that killed their boss's favorite strongarm. That decision costs them, as they come face-to-face with the entity known only as the Harlequin.

While I still love this story, the collection it was part of never seemed to move all that many copies. I stopped bringing it to cons years ago, and now that it's gone out of print, my final (and only) royalty check for it was $1.35. So, it's safe to say that only a handful of people have ever seen this story.

But now that it's back in my hands, I'd like to put it back out on the market somehow... hopefully in a way that will garner a few more eyeballs than before.

I could, for example, make an audio drama version of this story, and put it up on my rumble channel The Literary Mercenary, just like I've done with other short stories like the dark modern fantasy tale of an angel tracking a child stealer in Suffer The Children, or the story of a gambler haunted by his past in the weird Western story Dead Man's Bluff. I could publish the story on Vocal's fiction platform, right alongside some of my other shorts like the Weird War II story Where The Red Flowers Bloom. I could also do both of those things, and make it a kind of package deal where one compliments the other.

Of course, I could also hold onto it, and keep it in my back pocket for a sequel to my short story collection The Rejects. I've reached a point in my career as a writer where a lot of my older stuff is going to start going out of print or working its way back to me... maybe something like The Returned? Or maybe Second Wind: A Collection of Short Stories?

Might have to workshop the title a bit.

Anyway, I wanted to reach out to my regular readers to see if there were any opinions about what you would all like to see done with this story... especially if you're a fan of my darker, bloodier tales. So if you have thoughts about what you'd like to see me do with this story, please leave your thoughts in the comments below so I can tally up the results, and give folks what they want to see!

Lastly, there are still a lot of my earlier horror short stories out on the market, for those who have an interest in them. From the collection of bloody 1950s horror Americana that is American Nightmare, to the big top spook show of Noir Carnival, or even the black ops terror of SNAFU: A Collection of Military Horror, there's all sorts of nasty little numbers out there. So drop by my Amazon author page, and take a look around before another of the titles goes out of print!

Support The Literary Mercenary

For folks who just want to do their part to help keep me making more content, please subscribe/follow me in these locations:

- My Facebook

- My LinkTree

- My Weekly Newsletter

- The Azukail Games YouTube Channel (where I contribute video content)

- My Rumble Channel (longer videos that won't show up on YouTube)

And if you happen to have some spare dosh lying around, and you want to be sure my supply doesn't run low, consider become a Patreon patron, or leaving a tip by Buying Me a Ko-Fi!

Like, Follow, and Come Back Again!

That's all for this week's Business of Writing! For more of my work, check out my Vocal archive, or at My Amazon Author Page where you can find books like my sci-fi dystopian thriller Old Soldiers, my sword and sorcery novel Crier's Knife, or my most recent short story collection The Rejects!

 

And to stay on top of all my latest news and releases, collected once a week, make sure you subscribe to The Literary Mercenary's mailing list. 

If you'd like to help support my work, then consider Buying Me A Ko-Fi, or heading over to The Literary Mercenary's Patreon page! Lastly, to keep up with my latest, follow me on Facebook, Tumblr, Twitter, and now on Pinterest as well!