Consent on The Page (Nipping Problematic Depictions in The Bud)

Emily panted, pressing her back to the wall. She was wet from the rain, and her breath tore in and out of her lungs. Richard stood over her, warmth radiating from his body, his damp mane framing his face. He leaned closer, then stopped. He held her eyes, a playful smile on his lips.

"What are you waiting for?" she asked.

"Your permission," he said, a rough purr in the edge of his voice.

She said yes.

I've mentioned in previous posts on this blog how I started off my career writing romance stories for open anthologies. I also edited a few of them, too. Something I found during that period of my career that was both perplexing, and a little frightening, was how behavior that belonged in a horror novel (or at least in a psychological thriller) showed up again and again on the page. It was supposed to be sexy, but it set my teeth on edge just trying to get through the scene.

And since I've had this topic on my mind for a bit, I figured I'd get up on my soap box this week. Because if you want a scene to work between characters, you need to make it clear where the lines of consent have been drawn.

The Line Between Romance and Horror

I've said this before, but if you had to pick two genres out there that are uncomfortably close it's going to be romance and horror. The reason why I think they're so similar is in the execution; both require build-up, tension, and intimacy in order to really work. The audience has to agree to let you in, whether it's to be scared or titillated by the scenario you're laying out for them.

The difference is context. Because, as the old saying goes, there's nothing wrong with talking a moonlit walk with someone you love... if she doesn't know you're there, though, then this scenario just went from sweet to terrifying in a big damn hurry.

Case in point.

A mistake that a lot of writers make is to assume consent in any given situation unless it's taken away... but if you're not sending clear messages to your audience, then it can be tough to tell which of the two above fonts you're supposed to be reading a scene in, so to speak.

And for those of you out there who are sputtering about how forcing characters to state their desires in dialogue can feel forced and hackneyed, I want to point out that body language, tone, and action can convey your character's consent just as (if not better) than putting it in quotes if you can't find a good way to make that work for your scene. Because all you really have to do is show a character willingly participating in the action of the scene. If your love interest gets kissed, show them returning the kiss. If someone touches them, even if they didn't ask permission to do so, show what the reaction to that is. Are they turned on? Angry? Disgusted? In fear for their safety? What signs are they showing us as the audience, which we could assume the other participants in the scene also see?

That is what's going to make the difference between something feeling like it should have a smooth jazz soundtrack, or menacing cellos threatening to eat you.

Playing With Consent

Now, having said all that, sometimes the whole point of a scene is to play around with consent. The audience feeling unsure about whether the actions they're viewing are wanted or not is not a flaw, that's the feature. This builds a sense of anxiety, and it can be a vital and useful tool in stirring up the reader's emotions to ensure they are experiencing mixed messages; desire for more, but repulsion that says to stop. Feeling guilty, but perhaps wanting to have the decision about moving forward taken out of their hands.

You can still write those scenes. In some stories, that kind of scene is absolutely the right tool you need for the job. However, you need to make sure you're doing it with intention, instead of by accident.

"A perfect punch!" Well, I just sort of closed my eyes, swung, and hoped for the best.

Consent on the page is one of those things you need to fully internalize and think about before you start upending expectations about it. And whether your signals are overt or subtle, readers are going to pick up on them when they're present... and they're also going to notice them when they're absent.

To paraphrase another quote, "If both of the guys in the ring didn't agree to this, it's a crime, not a boxing match." Put another way, if you want your audience to have a certain interpretation of the action on the page, then you need to understand what they're going to pick up on. And, just as importantly, what is going to cause them to walk away with a very different impression than you intended.

Some more examples I've come across, both as a reader and an editor, for those who are curious:

- Depictions of characters (usually feminine and female-identifying ones) purely in terms of their attractive features, turning them into something of a fetishized doll. You see a lot of this in Jim Butcher's Dresden Files books, and it feels both overtly misogynistic, and really creepy. It clearly colors all the actions the protagonist takes, and taints interactions that might otherwise read as neutral or positive.

- The focus being placed mostly or solely on one party. There is a lot of this in scenes where traditional male leads are pursuing a lover. Descriptions that are all about the man's sensations, his pleasures, his desires, etc. come across as extremely objectifying, and strip the other character of personhood. Share the spotlight, and show us that everyone's enjoying this scene, if that's the impression you want us to have.

- Ridiculous actions being excused in the name of love. Everything from the full-tilt stalker behavior in films like Say Anything, to the controlling attitudes and expectations in books like Twilight and the 50 Shades series are, at the most generous, extremely tone deaf. If you want to show a character's interest in someone else, depict their interactions in a positive light. Show them acting like a human being, starting conversations, finding common ground, and showing respect. You will get a thousand times more mileage out of one character remembering how to make his love interest's ideal cup of coffee than you will out of big, sweeping gestures or actions that could easily be decisions of a dangerous obsessive if you're looking for a burgeoning relationship.

For more on the subject of consent in storytelling, I recently covered a great gaming supplement over on Improved Initiative. If you're interested, check out Consent in Gaming (If You Haven't Downloaded This Book Yet, You Really Should). It's well worth the read, especially if you enjoy collaborative storytelling.

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That's all for this week's Craft of Writing! For more of my work, check out my Vocal archive, or at My Amazon Author Page where you can find books like my sword and sorcery novel Crier's Knife!

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